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Mr. T Fan Club - I pity da foo'!

Thursday, September 27 By: Mr. T

I ain't gots time fo' no jibba jabba (aka. T takes over) T's back! I saw dis pityfoo website and I decides to take ovah. I haxx0r it T styles!   T's Big Adventure I was eatin at the deli in New Yourk when dis essplosion made me drop my sammich. Then I find out it's deez Osama foos that made Mr. T miss a lunch, and I pity da foo that screws wit T's lunch. Look at dat foos! Look at my sammich! I'm gonna get you Osama suckas! So I went into da baffroom and putta towel on mah head, jus so I can use stealfth to kill me some Osamas. So I headed on down to da local 7-11 and got me a map to Adgandastani, den da Osama foo at da counter said "What you be needin from Afganidizasarn?" and I said "Shut yo moufh foo befo T slaps dat rag off yo head.!" So den I walks outside and decides me to drive down to Arkansasidanti. Das mah van foo! It's hella fast. Jets can't even keep up wit T! Yeah! Dats right foos! U suckas betta be scared of da T! So aftah I drove into Alfamagijdaloco I landed and gots out da T-Cannon. Dat's powar foo! Bullzeye foo! Lesson of da Day: Don't mess with T or his sammich! Until next time foos, Dis is Mr. T saying I'm out. Tomorrow's Update: Shut up sucka!

 

Wednesday, September 26 By: Lina Inverse

Rants and random junk Well guys, I've been pretty busy today so I haven't had time to put up the new edition of mIRC pictures of the damned. Instead I found an funny rant from a guy who calls himself Tossed_Salad_Man on the somethingawful.com forums. Oh, and here's a picture of a nintendo game you should all run out and buy immediately. Here comes the rant... "One hot summer day I was sitiing in my back yard, in my lounge chair, eating sloppy joes, and drinking beer, I noticed the clouds were building, and itd be raining soon, so I got up and started putting up all of my neato patio shit, you know the kind, that your fuckhead neighbor is ALWAYS eyeing and you know that two faced fuck hat would steal all your shit if it weren't bolted down or locked up. So I get all that shit locked up in the shed, and I hear this awful kind of fucking commotion going on in my fucking bushes, well I fucking sling my beer bottle as hard as I can into the fucking bushes and hear the bottle shatter and the commotion stops, then suddenly this little black midget wearing a speedo, hops out of the bushes, with a dead goose, which has apparently been anally assaulted by this lil evil fucker, he growls and bears his little evil midget teeth, and about that time ANOTHER goddamn midget comes out of the bushes, this one is white, naked and missing his fucking right leg!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LITTLE SHITHEADS DOING IN MY GODDAMN BUSHES!!!!!!!!! I scream at them, the little black fucker does this little ninjaesque back flip and goes "hiyaaaaa!" and stands in this little midget karate pose, the one legged fucker fell over, and started crying, and pissing and shitting himself. I keeeeeel you, the black one screams back, so ,I back up and head towards the back door, open it and look around for a weapon or three, i see some old cast iron bookends I stole from my blind grandma in the nursing home,they were cool, they were big ass iron owls wearing mortar boards and glasses sitting on some books, they weighed like 10 pounds each,well, I grab them both and proceed back around to the bushes where the midgets were standing, the black one had resumed ass fucking this dead goose, while the one legged naked one tried to do what looked like break dancing,in the puudle of his own piss and shit, I slung the one cast iron bookend as hard as I could at the one legged break dancing midget, and it struck him right behind the ear, he immediately stopped moving, and a guggling stream of blood poured from the back of his little fucked up skull. One down one to go. The blck midget apparently in climax from anally assaulting this goose hadnt noticed I had returned,killing his associate, and was squirming and shaking and slapping the gooses back yelling, 'who yo daaddy!" who yo daddy now!!". "Heeeeey ya little fuck!!", I yelled at the dead goose ass fucking midget, "how bout somma this", and grabbed my crotch, and made thrusting motions towards him, this must have infuriated his little black midget ass, and he squeeled and ran full tilt midget speed towards me, as he ran, I reared back and chucked that fucking 10 pound bookend at his fucking midget face just as fast as I could, he realized in mid midget run, he was fucked, the look on his silly midget face was priceless, and as the bookend hit his face right between the eyes, he let out a little midget eeeeeeeeeee, the bookend flattened his nose, driving fragments back into his lil midget brain, killing him, not immediately, it took a few minutes, and me pissing in his mouth as he gasped for air, I'm sure, didnt help, but I dragged the 2 dead midget corpses out to my neighbors compost heap, and promptly put them at the bottom of the pile of festeing shit, thinking of the neato midget skeleton present, my fuck face neighbor would be gtting for christmas,and the fun he would have explaining to the police what happened to the dead goose floating in his pool. Fuck him. Fuck midgets. Where's the phone? Its miller time." Well if you went actually read all that comedy gold then I give you praise, and I promise to have a better update tommorrow. Until then, here's a few random images   Movie of the Week Chasing Amy Go rent it , it'll teach you a few things about relationships and yourself. Plus it's alot more fun than when your parents beat you. Tomorrow's Update: It'll be alot better, trust me!

 

Tuesday, September 25 By: Lina Inverse

Welcome to the RPG cosplay hell! THE UNHOLY POTATO DEMANDS VENGENCE!!! Well it's Tuesday...horrible horrible Tuesday. That's why I'm going to cheer up all of your miserable lives by showing you the horrors of real people who play online role playing games and decide to take it a step further by cosplaying. The Eyeball Wizard summons Ugliness +7. He is unstoppable! Arr! Kitchen Troll is ready for battle! Shit! It's the Bathroom Mephisto! Run! Oh fuck this, I feel like slitting my wrists now... Ok, well there you go...I'm burned out now. Seeing an idiot wearing a "I'm a Unicorn!" t-shirt with a vibrator strapped to his helmet made me realize that most of you are evil, and I wish you'd all die a violent death. Oh, and on a special note, someone asked me if I could put up a special section of just nude pictures of myself... Tomorrow's Update: No clue yet, check back later...I'll have an idea by then

 

Monday, September 24 By: Lina Inverse

mIRC pictures of the damned! pt.2 Happy Monday. Well, little Lina is coming back at ya' with another installment of mIRC pictures of the damned*! I was going to do this as a weekly thing but after I got so many requests from e-mails and different people PMing me in the chatrooms I've decided to just do it whenever appropriate. And guess what?! I feel as if it's appropriate to do it right now. I had my mIRC nick taken from me while I went out last night and I'm going to vent off my angst towards you guys by showing you the pictures of people you often associate with, and believe me...you don't want to get on my bad side. I'm really a horrible horrible monster, and I pray for death...OK! On to the pictures! Azalin messing around at the grocery store Nomad just hanging around doing his thing and Icarus showing how much he loves his car Huma trying to meet someone by doing his native mating ritual and Link doing the same Well there you have it folks. I hope you all have nightmares tonight, I'm sure I will. Tomorrow's Update: RPG Cosplay Hell! *mIRC people consist of the web author's vision of people who frequent the #god and #doc chatrooms...You know who you are.

 

Sunday, September 23 By: Lina Inverse

Azn Invasion Last night I was talking in mIRC and someone asked me about some of my RL friends, so then it got me to thinking...hey, why don't I do a segment on my page about them, it'll be fun for me and it'll show you the kinds of people who live in Southern California. So last night I decide to call up my real life friends: Mugwort (left), Raz ma Taz (center), and Chewie (right). The Skillionaires: A l33t band of UO players whom I've known for years. I called up Chew and asked him what he thinks about Ultima Online and how it impacts his life. He said "Fuck dewd, j00 wants to know WTF iz in da' hizzy den u should give a beep to my peep, Muggy-Fats, I'm 2 bizzay PvPing some n00bz." So I call up Mugwort and this is what he said "Skank! Yuo call em pu earley in mourning 2 earley! yuo haev intellectigence of CAT HAIRBALLS!!! hahahahahhahahaha yuo MANTURNIP! " Well, then I call up Raz ma Taz and he kept screaming "Bitch! Where's my bacon!?" I didn't know how to respond and before I knew it I heard him yell "I axed you a question bitch! Where the fuck, is my mother fucking bacon?!" Well there you have it folks, Their thoughts on Ultima Online and internet gaming are about as insightful as retard on acid. BONUS: Two more pictures of the ultra l33t Skillionaires! Skillionaires Skillionaires Tomorrow's Update: Because of all the requests...mIRC pictures of the damned pt.2

 

Saturday, September 22 By: Lina Inverse

mIRC pictures of the damned! Hiya! It's time once again for Lina to show off her stuff. I have something special for you today, pictures of a buncha people I've met in the god and doc rooms! Yep i'll throw in pictures and little descriptions on each one. Miner and his brother Cougar play UO and frequent the mIRC channels Tazerok - This picture was taken about 5 minutes after a hit of "E" and finally this is Kith - He's a dirty candian who drives a jeep and plays solitare when stoned. "Mmm, Tastes like Failure!" I'll throw in more installments of "mIRC pictures of the damned" next time I feel like it, Until then...this is Lina saying "u sux". Tomorrow's Update: Skillionaires invade the Lina Inverse Fan Club!

 

Friday, September 21 By: Lina Inverse

Internet Jungle Boogie (Creation of a webpage pt. 2) Hi everybody! It's little Lina messing around and creating one of the worst abuses of HTML in the history of the internet. I'm guessing if I wanted to make this site total crap that I'd put up a buncha poems I wrote when I was 12, a mess of pictures of my ex-boyfriends, comet cursor plus, and some horrible midi songs converted from Alanis Morisette songs. So I won't torture you guys just yet...instead lets take a look at a few cool things you can prolly find in your local international grocery store! Well there you go, run down to your international market and pick up these fine products, I'm sure they all taste great. Tomorrow's Update: Pictures of mIRC people*, yay! *mIRC people consist of the web author's version of people who frequent the #god and #doc chatrooms...You know who you are.